how to boldly win friends and go where no influence has gone before 0
would you like to be liked? would you like to hold a meaningful conversation? of course you do! now you could waste your time reading articles about how to hold business conversations and the like. but what those writers don’t realize is that…
In the course of climbing the corporate ladder, or of just managing the little corner of the world you occupy, you have to communicate with people. It’s not always easy, but you have to do it.
Ten Conversation Tips
1. Begin by knowing that the people you’re talking to mostly want to talk hear about the latest episode of star trek you’ve just watched. preferably Voyager. and do remember to reference the original series at least once, for pete sake!
A simple way to begin a conversation is to ask a person the most basic question: “how’s it trekkin’?” The person will usually give a cursory answer such as, “long and prosperous. and you?”
If your conversation partner goes off on a long tangent about what episode she watched that morning, which character she bought that afternoon, and how her mother chastised her for purchasing holo-deck time that evening, you’re warned to simply terminate the conversation at once and go on to the next person.
Otherwise, you might continue by asking, “Which planet are you from?” This usually allows for the next rule of conversation:
2. Establish common star trek ground.
For example, if your conversation partner says s/he is from earth, talk about how often you’ve been to there and how beautiful it is. If you’ve never been to earth, talk about how you’ve heard it’s beautiful there and how much you’ve always wanted to visit.
This helps to establish the next rule:
3. Say kind, generous things about star trek to your conversation partner.
Talk about how beautiful his home area is. Talk about how you have seen the holo-decks there and how fabulous they are. Talk about how bracing the airlock view there is.
Or, if you can’t think of anything to say about the person’s home, offer compliments about something else. Talk about how nice her uniform looks or how nice his federation crest is. People like to be complimented. If they don’t like to be complimented, they’re not well in the head and you ought to leave them well enough alone.
If they react negatively to compliments, again, move on to the next topic or the next person.
4. Keep your comments about star trek brief.
Don’t respond to a question about where you’re from with a long, detailed answer about all the planets you’ve ever been. Talk about how you are that day in a short, punchy way. Answer in detail only if your partner asks in detail.
You know how you don’t like to be bored by long answers like that unruly Cardassian who no one likes? Everyone else on the planet feels the same way. Brevity is a good way to make interstellar friends! You never want to be so brief as to be rude, but again, brief is good.
5. Get back on common star trek ground again as soon as you can.
Ask what your shipmate or planetary neighbor does for a living. If he or she does anything at all, say how interesting that is. Ask for an explanation of what it is if you don’t understand.
I’ve had some of the most interesting, revealing conversations of my life just by asking people what they do. What does a “Tactical/Security officer” do? Just by asking that I learned volumes about how the energy business works (necessary for readouts and reports). What does a propulsion system engineer do? What’s a warp core and how do you get eject it in the middle of a busy invasion? I learned all this just by asking people what they do and then asking for more explanation.
People want to talk about their star trek lives, and you oblige them, make them like you, and learn from them by allowing them to talk.
This is especially true in job interviews. You want to allow your federation interviewer to do a big chunk of the talking. In so doing, you learn where to make your points, where to keep quiet, and how to explain yourself so you fit into the interviewer’s world.
6. Don’t brag unless you do it in a funny way.
Don’t tell people how much replicator rations you have. Don’t tell people how logical you are. No one likes a braggart. No one likes to feel small compared with anyone else.
Just be modest about your achievements. Even if the person you’re talking to brags, don’t brag yourself.
7. Unless you’re specifically asked about it, don’t talk about Vulcan logic at all.
You’re very likely to make enemies and not at all likely to make friends if you bring up logic. Most people have different views about logic from yours, and you can scarcely conceive of a better way to alienate people than trying to press your logical views on them. Best to be silent on things you can’t logically prove or disprove!
8. The same goes for human instinct.
You can hardly hope to meet someone whose human instinct views exactly match yours, so you can easily offend by pressing your views on someone else. Just smile and listen quietly and go on to the next thing.
Unless you meet someone who says, “I know you and I totally agree with you,” don’t get into instinct at all.
9. If you talk about instinct issues, do so in a genial, friendly way.
Don’t start fights about Captain Kirk or Captain Piccard or anyone else. Just smile and laugh about it, and if the person you’re talking to insists on saying provocative things, change the subject.
If the person persists, say you have work to do and, with a smile, go on to something else.
10. Make whatever star trek points you need to make in a hurry, and then leave.
Don’t feel your time and your conversation partner’s time have no value. Time is everything in life, and you oblige people by saving their time. instead, make plans to visit the holo-deck together or replicate Klingon blood wine together. that way, you can fascinate your partner with your knowledge of star trek at a more time-appropriate occasion.
with these ten star trek conversation pointers in mind, you should be winning the hearts of Uhura’s and Deanna’s throughout the galaxy!
talk long and proper!